At last!  I'm feeling much better.  Still have a cough and some congestion but I'm feeling great.  Better still, Nixi didn't end up getting sick!

I had a pretty good week at school.  Unfortunately I've been having some trouble with my group of friends.  Its originating from mixed messages that I'm getting from my teacher.  Very typical or Autism, I have a tendency to see things as very black and white.  I don't understand grey areas.  A rule is a rule and when you break a rule you get into trouble.  So, I've been telling my friends to stop when I think they are breaking a rule and if they don't listen I yell at them.  My teacher says they aren't breaking rules but I'm really confused. Like the other day the girls were writing the name of another student in the dirt at recess.  Now, teachers have told kids not to play in the dirt before.  So, I told them to stop.  My teacher came over and explained to me that the girls were just missing our friend who was out sick.  Uh, ok...but they were still playing in the dirt.  Unfortunately, due to my communication issues I was unable to say that to the teacher.  Another day we were watching a video in class and some kids were laughing really loudly.  I told them to stop, and teacher told me they were fine.  Again, WHAT!?!?  She tells us before videos that we need to be quiet so that we can hear the video.  Really confusing and really frustrating, and my friends aren't so thrilled with me.  Mom tried to talk to my teacher about the root of the problem and give suggestions like saying quickly "We're going to watch a video boys and girls, let's remember to be quiet but it may have some funny parts and its ok to laugh.", etc.  As seems to be the norm, my teacher seemed to get annoyed and stopped listening...scanning the campus and directing kids in the periphery.  She did manage to smooth things over with one of my friends by telling her that I just didn't want her to get in trouble because she's such a good friend.  That's great, but the part that makes me sad is that the teacher thinks she was being very clever in making up an excuse for my behavior.  I don't think she realizes that that's exactly it.  I don't want my friends to get into trouble.  That scares me terribly.  Its not just that I have autism and that I need to control my environment and am inflexible.  She's expecting me to understand these grey areas and that's just not my strong suit.  I have an IEP on the 19th and mom's going to take off the kid gloves and finally say what she really wants to say.  She's frustrated because no matter how much she tries to educate and help my teacher, my teacher doesn't seem to be able to take it in.  She takes it really personally, like its her failing.  This has been the experience of a couple of other parents of kids in my class as well.  Dude, really?  Its not about you, its about me...and mom's going make sure to drive that point home.  Its really important that I end this year on a high note for lots of reasons.  I still enjoy school, but not like I used to.  I don't beg to go, sometimes I cry to stay home.  Mom will figure it out.

Nixi had a great week at school.  She made a heart in class that she desperately wanted to give to mom.  Sweet, huh?  She seems to like her new classmate alright and she has a blast playing with her friend Reiha.  Reiha pulls her around at recess in a wagon and they both think that's pretty darn fun!  As far as her scary stuff, its still there.  Mom and dad told her that it made them really happy when she had said that she wasn't hearing voices or seeing scary stuff.  BIG mistake.  Now she just randomly says that, even when its obviously not true.  She's a big people pleaser, always has been.  When she was little and didn't like a food if mom told her "yes you do", she'd say "I do like it mama", all the while with a grossed out look on her face as she ate.  Dad also told Nixi that he's brave and will keep her safe.  So, she thinks that to be brave you can't see or hear things...she told mom that.  Mom's trying to flip it and let Nixi know that it makes mom and dad happy when she talks to them about anything, good or bad, scary or happy, and that even brave people can get scared.  She woke up one night this week and was responding to auditory hallucinations by telling them no.  When dad asked her what was wrong she said, "Too many voices daddy."  She had a rough time with Heather on one of her visits, and by the end of the week she told mom that she was seeing a skeleton on the patio.  We're all just trying to support her and be understanding but sometimes its scary and most of the time its exhausting.  Hoping for a better week this week and hoping Nix keeps telling mom and dad what's going on so they can help her.

Exciting week ahead.  Valentine's Day on Thursday.  We both got Spongebob valentines for our friends at school and starting tomorrow I'll begin addressing them myself.  Nana Cummings comes on Friday and on Saturday we're all going to have a professional family portrait taken!  Mom says we have to do pretty smiles then we can do silly faces.  As you can see above, we've been practicing.  Super pumped.  Sunday is Winston's 5th birthday so we're going to go to Petsmart and get him some toys.

Check back next week to see how our week was and if we were able to get Winny to wear a birthday hat!

xoxo
Safi