Quite the week!  We started with a play date and a birthday party on Monday and wrapped it up with another birthday party on Saturday and a park day on Sunday!  Very fun stuff!

We had a pretty good week post Nana visit.  Nixi's hallucinations have been steadily increases over the past 4 days, but we kind of expected that after the excitement of the visit.  She's been doing a great job of coping.  She's started repeating mantras like "I'm not afraid of--insert current hallucination here--, I'm brave."  And when it gets to be too much she goes off somewhere and quietly talk to her hallucinations and her herself to calm down.  She hasn't been screaming too much and she's been panicked much less.  We're all really impressed and proud of her!

I had a pretty good week.  On Wednesday right before school was out another girl and I had a misunderstanding.  I told her, under my breath, "I just looking at your shoes."  She thought I said that I didn't like her shoes.  She got mad and told the other kids and all of them were telling me to say I was sorry.  I didn't understand what was wrong so I didn't want to say sorry.  My teacher got involved, saying "We don't say things to hurt our friend's feelings.  I would like you to say you're sorry."  I said it but I was rattled.  When mom came to pick me up she could tell something was wrong.  I told her I was nervous.  She asked the teacher what happened and she relayed the even t to mom.  This is where I'll let mom take over the story....

Hi all.  A quick update on Safi's IEP before addressing the above situation.  The IEP was Tues and it went well, a long 2 hrs. but I was relatively pleased.  We all discussed our goals for Safi in the next year.  A big focus was on social skills and social emotional skills.  I specifically addressed Safi's difficulty with accepting feedback and saying sorry, as she is afraid that people wont accept her apology and she just wants everything to be ok.  I modeled how we work with this by stating what we would like her to say without directly confronting her as that makes her more anxious.  We just repeat verbatim what she should say and she eventually says it...everyone moves on.  I addressed Safi's difficulty with offering information and the need to ask lots of follow up questions...her teacher assured me that she does this.  We discussed what we want in a teacher next year....more warm and fuzzy, less task master.  I brought an exercise in differences of perception for the IEP member to do, it seemed to go as well as I usually expect.  Nothing to be over the moon about but fair enough. My main message was that Safi needed to end the year out strong and we all needed to support her in doing so.  Now back to Safi's Wednesday school fiasco.  When I asked the teacher what happened and she relayed the incident, saying "Just like we talked about in the IEP, she had difficulty saying sorry.", I about lost my mind.  Sadly, what the teacher took from the IEP were Safi's struggles, NOT the interventions we already have in place to help her with them.  I pointed out to her that she did NOT do as we had discussed and I had role played numerous times in the IEP, but rather she confronted Safi and told her that she wanted her to say X.  NOT the same thing and NOT the way to get the result that she was looking for.  She immediately became defensive and said that as I had modeled it in the IEP, "You made it seem like it could take 10-20 times of saying it to get her to respond and we were in the last 5 minutes of class so we were getting ready to line up."  Ok, so it wasn't convenient to do it as I had requested?  No, autism and the many interventions and supports in place for it are not terribly convenient.  But if you only do them when its convenient for you there is no consistency and you will not get the desired result.  Regardless, I needed to attend to Safi so I left the teacher for the next day and addressed my kid.  She was absolutely confused and sad.  I asked her why the girl was upset and she said "I don't know" and began to cry.  I asked her if she said she didn't like her shoes, "no."  I asked what she did say and she relayed that she said she was looking at her shoes.  I asked her if she said it quietly or loudly, "Quiet."  So, it was all a misunderstanding.  Which brings me to my second issue...asking follow up questions.  Had I not continued to ask questions in a myriad of ways I may never have found out what really happened because Safi answers only what she asked, no elaboration, no correction.  I addressed this in the IEP.  That night when Safi was climbing in to bed she turned to me and said, "I think Ava's shoes are pretty, mama."  About broke my heart.  Poor kid.  So, the next morning I asked the teacher if she asked Safi what happened and it became very apparent that she had asked several questions...of the other children but NOT of Safi.  I pointed this out and finally told her point blank that I am very frustrated with her and the fact that I am constantly providing her with "recipes" for Safi's success, only to see her add her own ingredients or omit some of mine ending in disastrous results.  She was miffed, I was miffed but appropriate and the next morning the principle was there and asked me to come early or talk to the teacher after school from now on because it was holding up the class...despite the fact that I confronted her the morning before 10 minutes before the bell rang.  No matter what we need this lady to help Safi so I'll continue ramming my head into her brick wal until I can't do it anymore...then I'll send Mike.  Should be interesting.

Ok, so mom filled you in.  She made sure to do some damage control with Ava by explaining to her that she had misheard what I had said.  I like Ava but it seems like she maybe doesn't like me because on Friday she ran up to mom after school and tried to tattle on me.  Mom told her she was not interested unless I was hurting someone or breaking something and that shut her down pretty quick.  I still like her though, and I told mom she's nice.

So, that was our week.  A little draining, a lot of fun, and some frustration along the way.

xoxo
Safi

Long but fun week.  We're all tired from the excitement so this will be a short blog.

Safi had a great week at school, culminating in a super awesome Valentine exchange and class party.  She addressed all 23 Valentines to her classmates by herself in on sitting and was terribly proud of herself!  She was all smiles and came home with a huge bag full of Valentines.

I had a great week and also got lots of Valentines from my friends at school.  Mom helped me address all of my cards and I got to hand each one out to my friends.  It was a great day!

Mom and dad got us Disney Princess themed Valentine goodies.  I got a Aurora stuff and Safi got Tiana.  Our favorites were our princess dresses.  We gave them the Valentine's that we picked out ourselves and it was a really great day.

Nana, and our live lobsters, arrived on Friday.  Both were very cool to play with!  We went for our family portrait session and it went pretty well.  After the first few shots I was over it but I managed to stick with it long enough for us to get some great shots.

Winston's birthday was super fun.  We didn't make him wear a hat but we did give him a few gifts and celebrated with cupcakes in his honor.

All in all a very fun, jam packed, exciting week.  Looking forward to our buddy Sebastian's birthday party on Monday and a possible playdate with Safi's classmate, Sophia.  Mom has Safi's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for the 1st grade year coming up this Tuesday and dad has an interview for Associate Warden at a different prison the same day.  So mom and dad have a quite an exciting week ahead.  That's about all I can think of.  I'm on excitement overload and need to reboot and rest.  Have a great week!

Peace
Nixi

Introducing....

At last!  I'm feeling much better.  Still have a cough and some congestion but I'm feeling great.  Better still, Nixi didn't end up getting sick!

I had a pretty good week at school.  Unfortunately I've been having some trouble with my group of friends.  Its originating from mixed messages that I'm getting from my teacher.  Very typical or Autism, I have a tendency to see things as very black and white.  I don't understand grey areas.  A rule is a rule and when you break a rule you get into trouble.  So, I've been telling my friends to stop when I think they are breaking a rule and if they don't listen I yell at them.  My teacher says they aren't breaking rules but I'm really confused. Like the other day the girls were writing the name of another student in the dirt at recess.  Now, teachers have told kids not to play in the dirt before.  So, I told them to stop.  My teacher came over and explained to me that the girls were just missing our friend who was out sick.  Uh, ok...but they were still playing in the dirt.  Unfortunately, due to my communication issues I was unable to say that to the teacher.  Another day we were watching a video in class and some kids were laughing really loudly.  I told them to stop, and teacher told me they were fine.  Again, WHAT!?!?  She tells us before videos that we need to be quiet so that we can hear the video.  Really confusing and really frustrating, and my friends aren't so thrilled with me.  Mom tried to talk to my teacher about the root of the problem and give suggestions like saying quickly "We're going to watch a video boys and girls, let's remember to be quiet but it may have some funny parts and its ok to laugh.", etc.  As seems to be the norm, my teacher seemed to get annoyed and stopped listening...scanning the campus and directing kids in the periphery.  She did manage to smooth things over with one of my friends by telling her that I just didn't want her to get in trouble because she's such a good friend.  That's great, but the part that makes me sad is that the teacher thinks she was being very clever in making up an excuse for my behavior.  I don't think she realizes that that's exactly it.  I don't want my friends to get into trouble.  That scares me terribly.  Its not just that I have autism and that I need to control my environment and am inflexible.  She's expecting me to understand these grey areas and that's just not my strong suit.  I have an IEP on the 19th and mom's going to take off the kid gloves and finally say what she really wants to say.  She's frustrated because no matter how much she tries to educate and help my teacher, my teacher doesn't seem to be able to take it in.  She takes it really personally, like its her failing.  This has been the experience of a couple of other parents of kids in my class as well.  Dude, really?  Its not about you, its about me...and mom's going make sure to drive that point home.  Its really important that I end this year on a high note for lots of reasons.  I still enjoy school, but not like I used to.  I don't beg to go, sometimes I cry to stay home.  Mom will figure it out.

Nixi had a great week at school.  She made a heart in class that she desperately wanted to give to mom.  Sweet, huh?  She seems to like her new classmate alright and she has a blast playing with her friend Reiha.  Reiha pulls her around at recess in a wagon and they both think that's pretty darn fun!  As far as her scary stuff, its still there.  Mom and dad told her that it made them really happy when she had said that she wasn't hearing voices or seeing scary stuff.  BIG mistake.  Now she just randomly says that, even when its obviously not true.  She's a big people pleaser, always has been.  When she was little and didn't like a food if mom told her "yes you do", she'd say "I do like it mama", all the while with a grossed out look on her face as she ate.  Dad also told Nixi that he's brave and will keep her safe.  So, she thinks that to be brave you can't see or hear things...she told mom that.  Mom's trying to flip it and let Nixi know that it makes mom and dad happy when she talks to them about anything, good or bad, scary or happy, and that even brave people can get scared.  She woke up one night this week and was responding to auditory hallucinations by telling them no.  When dad asked her what was wrong she said, "Too many voices daddy."  She had a rough time with Heather on one of her visits, and by the end of the week she told mom that she was seeing a skeleton on the patio.  We're all just trying to support her and be understanding but sometimes its scary and most of the time its exhausting.  Hoping for a better week this week and hoping Nix keeps telling mom and dad what's going on so they can help her.

Exciting week ahead.  Valentine's Day on Thursday.  We both got Spongebob valentines for our friends at school and starting tomorrow I'll begin addressing them myself.  Nana Cummings comes on Friday and on Saturday we're all going to have a professional family portrait taken!  Mom says we have to do pretty smiles then we can do silly faces.  As you can see above, we've been practicing.  Super pumped.  Sunday is Winston's 5th birthday so we're going to go to Petsmart and get him some toys.

Check back next week to see how our week was and if we were able to get Winny to wear a birthday hat!

xoxo
Safi

 Mom got crafty this weekend and made us new hooded towels and tons of foam bath toys!

Poor Safi just can't catch a break!  She went to on Wednesday for the 100th day celebration and had a really great time!  Unfortunately, she woke up that night at midnight coughing and throwing up and did so for every hour thereafter.  With a temp of 102, mom took her into the doctor's.  I hitched a ride with them because I got a massive stye in my eye that looked horrible.  The doctor said that Safi has RSV, a respiratory virus, and gave her a nebulizer to do daily breathing treatments.  I got some goo for my eye and we called it a day.  The rest of the week has been a wash for us as we try to get better.  Now it looks like I may be coming down with RSV.

I had a good week.  I got a new classmate, a girl.  She's nice but she cries and screams a lot.  I'm still struggling with symptoms.  Mom says its the whole waxing and waning business.  All I know is that I think my symptoms are getting less prominent, either that or I'm just getting more used to them.  I sill hallucinate daily but its not all day long.  On the days that I don't hallucinate the vague paranoia that often gets directed at family friends, and fear of something I can't put words to always seems to linger in the background.  (Note from mom:  This is quite typical, even with folks who are medicated.  While the frank, in your face positive symptoms such as hallucinations may come and go, the thought disorder portion of psychosis seems to always be present to one degree or another.)  You know what, though?  This is me.  I'm learning to live with me and so is everyone else.  I've been telling mom lately, "That's just who I am."  When I act goofy or do something that she doesn't understand that's what I say.  Its the truth, and its ok.  Its not always fun to be me, but nobody has fun all the time.  Nobody can be comfortable in their skin and in their head all of the time.  So, I've decided that I'm cool with that and whatever it brings.  Pretty deep for a kid just under 4, eh?  ;)

In super duper, terribly exciting, I could burst into a song or a rainbow news....mom's bestie, Emily (Logan, Zoey, and Josh's mom), had her baby!!!!  Her name is Addison Grace and I think she's the cutest thing I've ever seen!!  Safi thinks she's pretty terrific, too.  We've only seen pictures but were trying our best to get better so we can see her in person as soon as possible.  I'm going to love her, that's what I keep telling mom.  I think mom already does!  So, congratulations Yenigues family!!!

Wishing Grandpa Seifert a very happy birthday this Tuesday.  Word on the street is that he and Aunt Becky may be coming out for a visit in March...finger, toes, and eyes crossed!  Have a great week, stay healthy everyone and check back in next week to see if I escaped RSV!!

Peace
Nixi

Safi making up a really cool story with the foam pieces.....such creativity!