Significantly better week this week all around.

I can't even tell you what coupons Safi earned in school because she didn't run out of class on Friday to tell me.  That is PERFECT!!  That means she is no longer preoccupied solely with the dreaded fuzzies and coupons!  Absolutely awesome!  Got another 100% on her spelling test and just had a really lovely week sharing her stuffed bunny, Marshmallow, for show and tell and eating lunch with teacher and a few other students.

Also, by Tuesday Safi was okay with dad's move, excited to help him, and excited about getting to move some of her things over there. Each morning she would wake up and say, "Its almost the day for dad to move to the cottage, I'm so exciting!"...like she does when a holiday is coming up.  She was a great helper with the move and she is just really doing a wonderful job of being flexible and understanding that "family" isn't defined by the roof you live under or even the blood in your veins.  We have tons of family, by birth and by the heart, and that never changes.

Nixi had an interesting week.  Her class still consists of 3 boys and herself.  Well, they got sick this week so she had a couple of short days.  That suited her just fine because she struggled with some of the symptoms that can only be described as dementia-like this week.  Like, being in the car driving to school and talking about going to school then stopping and asking, "Uh, mommy, where are we going?", or asking where her frozen yogurt was and needing to be reminded that it was in her hand, and a new one that stabbed through my heart..."Who's Nixi?"....you are, sweetie, you are.  ""Who?...Oh, yeah, right, me."  And she's not joking.  While remaining psychotic, she was much less hallucinatory but much more disorganized.  She forgets where she puts things, its just really dementia-like.  Seems to be the way it goes with her.  Its like when she was nearly two and the psychologists was assessing her for Autism.  He did a differential diagnosis between Childhood Disintegrative Disorder and Classic Autism because she has always had this sort of cognitive "swiss cheese brain".  Smart as a whip, confused as all get out.  I still don't know what that means or how that figures into her current diagnosis of schizophrenia.  It hasn't been this significant in awhile so I assume its somewhat stress related.  I'm back to researching and wondering if we shouldn't save up the money for a Niemann Pick Type C skin biopsy.  I don't have the desire to get into that here, but you can google it and you'll understand why I'm not elaborating here and why we haven't tested for it previously.  Her pediatrician thought it was pointless, I'm not so sure.

Regardless, moving day went swimmingly.  Both girls were great helpers and they love their new cottage apartment home at dad's.  That evening Emily and I took all of the kids for a mom/kid Dino Nite at the zoo.  It was hot, Nixi got her meds two hours late, it was a lot of little bodies for just Em and I to watch over....super fun, incredibly draining, and at the 3 hr mark it all started to go bad.  We split off from Em and the kids and started heading home.  At the gift shop, for the first time, Safi got something she really wanted regardless of what sister got.  Doesn't sound like a big deal but its huge.  Thank you, Zoloft.  And by the time we got to the car both girls were in a really good space and we were able to end the night wonderfully.  No meltdowns at the zoo, just having a hard time listening towards the end and Nxi was becoming increasingly symptomatic....read, psychotic.  Amazing to see what just two hours of medication delay can do.  Nonetheless, all of the kids had an absolute blast and that's all that matter...harried moms will always live to see another day!

Something extra special this week.  The girls' "Auntie Shae", a good friend of mine, found a flier for a special needs dance class in a neighboring city...Radiant Ruby's.  Its every Wednesday Sept. through December, its free, and its magical.  The girls absolutely loved it.  There was only one other kiddo in class so I got them to print me out some fliers to pass out...but the girls didn't care.  It was dance class, and extracurricular activity that they were doing and they felt incredibly special.  As I sat there watching them tears streamed down my face.  I was just so unbelievably proud of them and moved by their absolute joy.  Then I became acutely aware that I am totally one of those dance moms you see on TV.  It was horrible..."Safi, ankle all the way to the floor, push your legs like a butterfly."..."Girls, this is a class and do we act silly in school?".  Literally, if I hadn't quickly been able to step outside of myself and see what I was doing I very well could have been the killer of all things magical and joyful.  Luckily, I caught it pretty quickly and am hoping to spend next class on the other side of the door looking in through the glass...if Nixi will allow me.  Thank you, Auntie Shae!!!  Great looking out and your stock has soared with the little ones!  :)


So, that's where we be.  I will tell you this.  Today, Sunday, the girls went over to dad's to go swimming in his big pool and have a pizza party.  While I was loading up flotation devices, life vests, and foam noodles because the girls can't actually swim it hit me like a ton.....of fluffy cotton balls....you thought I was going to say bricks.  It hit me that Mike and I are doing the exact right thing and at the exact right time.  This time alone with the girls is going to give Mike a chance to do the parenting that is usually relegated to me by the girls.  And these breaks from the girls are going to make me a better mom because I won't be so "bankrupt" each day, as my psychiatrist likes to say.  I may eventually end up with enough rest in my bank to actually meet the needs of their withdrawals.  That is obscenely exciting and wonderful.  We truly ARE going to be better parents and there's no possible way that that could be anything but beneficial for the girls.  Wonderful feeling.

Sarah